mandymeyer

Here I am again, back to the beginning…the same spot I always get to! Down 20 lbs then STOP!

I haven’t been on here in months and along with that haven’t been to the gym or doing weight watchers! I have a gym membership that I pay for every month and still have found every excuse to not go. I had alot of changes going and ran towards food, drinking and smoking and have gained 1o out of the 20 lbs I have lost and if I don’t stop now, plus some! I’m sooo stressed! I moved from Denver back to Fort Collins, I live with 3 boys I barely know and uncomfortable, I’m not in school and don’t know what to do with my life, I had a job and it was temporary and is now over…so I’ll have to move back in with my parents for a month, clothes really don’t lie! I don’t know what is wrong with me..I’m sooo upset! I do this to myself everytime and I don’t why! I really DONT KNOW why I stopped! Maybe I’m scared to change ??? I don’t know…its the same freaking cycle. I’m avoiding the gym and don’t want to go when before I would do anything. I was writing and counting and meausring all my food…no i don’t care! I don’t eat all day then stuff my face later! I started drinking more, its been like an every night thing, eating out and smoking cigarettes, which is HORRIBLE! I can’t breathe and i love running and it makes just more harder! ugh, im over life at this point! i just want to curl up in a ball and never wake up. blaaaaaaaah

Hey Ya’ll!

It’s been awhile since I have been on here. It’s been a hard couple of months for me. I went from being totally motivated losing 20lbs and to asking myself, “wow, I’m still trying to lose weight, what?.” I competly stoped going to the gym and didn’t care what I was putting into my mouth and stopped attending my weight watcher meetings. I was totally out of control, the worst feeling in the world. I could feel my clothes getting tighter and my unhealthy habits popping up. I’ve been compelty stressed out about life in general.. I have some really big changes coming my way and I think/ I know I used food too feel that void so I didn’t have to think about the choices I was going to have to make, so I’m done dwelling on 2-3 months of giving up on myself and I’m hear to say that I’m back

I learned in my weight watcher meeting that there is a circle to thise whole losing weight thing….

You start in the beginnging and your compelty motivated from writing everything down, keeping track of points, measuring etc. Then it was something like in “crusing” mode. Where you still try and measure food, maybe aren’t tracking everyday but there is some effort left then there is the last part and I don’t remeber what that was called where your comeplty gone, not trying and have slipped from the program and if you don’t catch yourself in that particular “mode” thats how you would gain all your weight back. I’ve been there before, this happens to me everytime..i lose 20lbs and I think I can eat whatever I want and I know what I’m doing but then I gain it back and plus some of course.

So, what I’m trying to say that…yeah it would have been great to be 40lbs down like I planned…but most of the time, some plans don’t always work out and I’m sick of beating myself up for it, I have to accept that 20lbs is GREAT and it’s just going to keep going down from there. Today, I choose to get back on track and chose the life that I want, and not going to be scared to change and know if I keep trying that lbs will just drop.

I’ve always loved running and today was my day 1 to become a runner

I’m aslo joing the Air Force…I have many reasons to be motivated.

I’ve finally have gotten to my first mini goal, 16lbs down

I feel great.

I’m realizing that you choose the way your going to act, and the way your attuide is.

Some days are easier then others, but I’m thinking about it postivley and not making it any harder it has to be with having a negative attuide. Life is great and losing weight has been a great challenge and i love challenges… its going to make me so much stronger, i love putting myself and my health first!

YES! I CAN DO IT, and now that i KNOW I CAN! Nothing will get in my way.

After my weight watcher meeting abot a week ago, I gained .2 lbs no big deal right? well, for me it was a disgrace, ive been working out eating right, everything and ill i wanted was to be  under 200 lbs! So, just said eff it and I went to mcdonalds, wendys, subway just everything and totally binged eat,  i had wine, beer, shots…everything! I didn’t go to my last weight watcher meeting, because i knew what i had been doing was wrong and i KNEW i wouldve have gained weight. Everyday i keep telling myself tommrow you will do better, its a new day start fresh…but i would do the same thing…and i barley even worked out and i thought of every excuse not to go, so i have fallen ONCE AGAIN, and feel like this is never going to work. I’m going to mexico in 23 days and im not exited because im going to look and feel like shit, because im not 20lbs down, which i wanted to be…..im so mad at myself, lost and alone.

Last week I felt like I hit the bottom! After working out everyday for 30-40 mins and eating right, I gained 2.8lbs! I was SOO mad! I felt like I was never going to be able to get over this battle, that I’ve been battling my whole life 18 years. I didn’t give up, but I didn’t give it my all these last week, but I manged to drop the 2.8lbs I gained and now I’m 200 and 1lb to being out of the 200 FOREVER!  I’ve had alot of support from my roomate and finding the strength within myself these past couple days. I’ve put notes around my apartment, just to keep me going and its my time NOW to loose weight, I’m not going to stop when it gets HARDER HARDER, this is the battle and I’m fighting.

It took about 3 months to get 10lbs off, thats after vacations and such! Which also discouraged me, because i wanted to be a certain weight or THOUGHT i would have 20lbs off by now, but im realizing its something that you cant rush and they will come off when the time is right, and im done putting a timeline on myself beause that makes me even more stressed and makes me want to eat MORE!

I hope if any of you are just stuck in that hole and have fallen, belive me pushing yourself up will be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do, but its also the BEST thing you can do. Keep fighting the battle and in the end you’ll get the victory!

Hey Ya’ll! I hope everyone had a great hoilday! I went to mexico for about 3 weeks, and I’m finally back. I’ve been doing weight watcher for about 2 months and absoultley LOVE it. I had lost 9lbs the day before I left for Mexico. I was so exicted, and that means I’m almost out of the 200’s  –1lb away which is like a dream come true. Well, I thought going into Mexico was going to be a breeze and I would have compelte control while I was there, and having lost 9lbs I promised myself I was NOT going to gain ANY weight.

Haha, yeah that didn’t happen. I ate so much food, I want to puke just thinking about it. Tacos, Tortas, Tamilles, bread, bread, bread, pop (they don’t have diet there). I totally went out of control, and was totally not watching what I ate, I really didn’t care at all. Oh, but I did care when I gained almost 5lbs at my weight watchers meeting. I was about ready to cry,  but when I got home and thought about it, I shouldn’t have been surprised, I knew I wasn’t bening careful. I was discourage for about a day and I went back to the gym and meet with my personal trainer and everything just seemed 5 times harder, and I wanted to give up and I kept thinking…great im never going to lose weight. But I got back on track and I feel better then ever, I’m so exicted to get weighed this week. And proud of myself for  not giving up, the hardest part in all of this lossing weight thing is when you fall you have to push yourself back up, and keep going at it.

I hope everyone is having a great week and is ready for the hoildays! I’m going to Mexico for two weeks and will be surroned by tons and tons of food! I’m a LITTLE nervous, but I’m not going to let it  control me and I plan on LOSING weight on my trip…I refuse to gain!

 I’ve been working really hard and have had a few slips ups where I have eaten over my points…but I’m trying this new thing where I don’t let it take over my thoughts and I just let it be. Before I would just think about all the “bad” things that I ate, and how much I ate and it would just make me want to eat MORE (stressing eating..yuck) But now I can finally say, I’m gaining control over my emotionally eating.

People are starting to notice my weight coming off and I can feel it in my clothes. All I can say is if I can do this….ANYONE  CAN!

People always make losing weight soo negative and it doesn’t have to be. Yeah, everyday is going to be pretty! I have those days were I just want to break down and give up, and I do! But I only allow myself to do that for 5 mins. I’m using this journey to figure out who I am, and what I like. At first when I joined I had all these dates planned and how much I need to weight by then…and when I didn’t weight that amount by that day, I got discouraged. So who knows when I’ll be at my goal weight…2 years, 1 years,6 months?? Its all a matter of time and learning how to become a healthy eater and I can’t honestly put a date on that. 

This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to over come, and I’m making the best out of it everyday!

I stopped telling myself that working out sucks and I’m to tired blah blah blah and all the excuses I would say just to avoid going, but now it is a time for me to challenge myself and see how far I can go.  My trainer is like a gift from god, and our friendship has been growing and I couldn’t ask for anything more! Life is couldn’t be any better for me right now!

Happy Hoildays and a Happy New Year–Bring it on!

I finally relazied today that if I really want to change the way I look I can’t keep saying “ugh, I don’t want to go the the gym today.” or “This hurts, I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

I was working out with my trainer and we were doing abs (they were tuffys) and it was at the very end and I pretty much gave up. He supported my back to give me an extra push to get an extra crunch and I do I was doing the best I could but I kept saying I can’t do this, I can’t do this! And if I have that mentatitly these 80 lbs that I have to get off are going to become twice as hard!

I’ve been on weight watchers for 4 weeks and I lost 5lbs and gained 2 back after thanksgiving (WHOOPS) but hey, I’m human and I’m not going to let 2lbs get in me discouraged. I can’t pretend to think that I’m going to lose weight by just working out with my trainer for and hour 2 days a week and when I come in to do my “homework” 15 mins of cardio doesn’t cut it! So, now I know what I need to do and I’m going to make it happen, and just do it and I’m not complaining about it anymore! Working out and is hard as it is, is sooo rewarding in the in and should be the most important part of your day, doing something for YOU!!!!!

I hope everyone is doing good!

And don’t let the holidays put you back! Don’t make it about the food, but instead being with your family!

Thursdays are now becoming my new favorite day!

I’m down 5.2 lbs in two weeks! I’m so proud of myself and ready to keep going!

I can’t wait till I’m not in the 200 hundreds anymore!

I worked out with Jon twice this week and it has been amanzing! I love love love him!

I’m so thankful to have him in my life and have him helping me with my hardest thing I’ve ever have to faced.

And I love how he likes me at the size I am right now,I’m so exited for our friendship to grow!

Well, I hope everyone is having a good week!

Don’t give up!

I have a few question about point counting!

I always eat breakfest which is oatmeal and its 3 pts.

Well these last couple I’ve been skipping lunch because of school and what not and its REALLY unhealthy and I’m now stressed out. Because when and I’m driving to around and have cash on me (which is rare) and haven’t eaten barely anything, I’m more vunerable to fast.

Yesterday I ate oatmeal, cinnoman dolche frap w/ whip cream and a veggie qudoba burrito– it was all my points and I went over one!

Then today I ate oatmeal and went shopping with my roomate and we were hungrey and we wanted to try these new drinks for taco bell, I thought hmm, thats not a good idea, but I knew i had points for it. Then, i splurged and got a crunch wrap supreme and all together it was 17 points and have still have 9 leftover!

So…my question is no matter what kind of food I eat and in this case taco bell which is high in fat, but if I’m still in my point range and work out at a high intensity, can I still lose weight??

I’m not going to get into the habit of not eating all day and thinking I can eat fast food because I still have points! But this week it just happened. Does it matter what I eat as long as I’m not going over my points?